Overheard on campus

People say very dumb things in public, frequently loud enough for me to hear them. These are just a few:

• "She said if I hook up with other girls not to tell her."


• "You are so ****ing weird sometimes!"
  "Well, maybe you should just ****ing shut the **** up!"


• "I am dead sober right now."


• "Well, we wouldn't have to be sober. But I'd rather be sober."