I hate public transportation

I'm on the bus. It is 3:42 PM. I left ASU at 2:35. I'm still five miles away from my bus stop, where I get off and drive five more miles home. I hate public transportation.

For about half an hour a rather giddy woman sat next to me. She kept trying to start conversations. "I need a pedicure. [to the teenage boy across from her] Do you want a manicure? Get it? MAN-icure?" No one took her up on her offer of such a reasoned, erudite dialogue, but this didn't stop her. She continued to talk as if she were holding a great conversation. Occasionally she mentioned how much fun riding the bus was—how many people you meet and friends you make. Occasionally she coaxed a word or two out of someone with an energetic "Right?" I couldn't decide whether she was drunk or just slightly crazy. Did I mention that I hate public transportation?

On Thursday, I had an engagement to take the Collegiate Learning Assessment at 5:30 PM at ASU. I drove to school, hoping to avoid the huge waits associated with riding the bus home at that time of night. But since I don't have a parking permit at ASU, I parked at Michael's apartment, which is less than a mile away from campus. The test was inane, and I finished in 20 minutes. I walked over to the Orbit bus stop and waited for the Jupiter forward bus. Supposedly, they come every 15 minutes. And I waited. Well, there went the Mercury bus. And I waited. I walked over to the other bus stop, wondering if I had missed something. And I waited. Another Mercury bus went by. And I waited. Finally the Jupiter bus barreled past the stop, flashing a rude "DISCHARGE ONLY" from its electric sign. And I waited. I finally got to Michael's apartment at about 7:30. Did I mention that I hate public transportation?

It's now 3:57, and I'm still two miles away. Did I mention that I hate public transportation?