College students are dumb

I wrote that last post sitting in the basement of the Memorial Union. Behind me to my left was a table of girls. You could tell they went to ASU. (That is, they were party students.)

Two of the girls were planning to live together after the summer was over, and so they were discussing their living arrangements. One of them mentioned that she went around in her underwear all the time at home, but wouldn't lounge around naked. The other girl was totally fine with that. After all, she said, "we're girls." This was totally fine with the rest of them. But they did have standards. Yes, they did. One girl mentioned that she went around with guys in their boxers all the time. This was too much for one of the other girls' delicate sensibilities, and she retorted "well, you're a whore."

But the plan for living together was progressing quite nicely. One potential problem was smoking, but it was quickly resolved. "You don't smoke in the house, do you? Because I'm allergic to cigarette smoke." "No, I don't. Well...once in a while I'll smoke in my room, but mostly when I'm going to bed and I'll just lay there on my bed, smoking." "Well, I'm not really really allergic. And you're not going to stick it in my face and try and get me to smoke, are you?" "Oh, no, I'm not like that." Both sides seemed eager to please, trying not to make anything seem at all like a deal-breaker.

In turn, each called her parents, seeking to inform them of (and perhaps seek permission for) their plans. They stressed the "better living conditions" that they would experience in this new residence. One saw fit to talk with her father about her sister's recent move in with her boyfriend. Her father hadn't heard. And the sister herself had just broken up with another boyfriend.

Mingled with this was one girl's explanation of how religiously she was raised. Her family went to church EVERY SUNDAY! And to Bible Study one day a week! And even SUNDAY SCHOOL! College had really opened her eyes to the world, though. She wasn't religious anymore. Why would she be? She prefers to wander about the house not-quite naked.

Then came the zinger. It was Cinco de Mayo, right? One of them realized this and decided to, instead of using its standard name, make the absolutely hilarious move of calling it "Cinco de Drinko." Yeah. Not even the almost clever version "Drinko de Mayo," but the random concatenation of half the name of the holiday with a faux-Spanish word describing their favorite activity. But here comes the zinger: they weren't "party animals." No, they considered themselves respectable college students doing their best to broaden their horizons through higher education. I'd hate to see what they considered "party animals."

College students are dumb.